Disgrace
by InkDrippingRose
Summary: Raffin, Prince of the Middluns, suffers from abuse at the hands of his father in Randa's attempt to mold his son to follow his standards. Raffin has precious few people who he can call "friend". how will his life change when he meets someone else to add to that list? I suck at summaries. Raffin x Bann
1. Chapter 1

Thick round tears streamed down my face as I ran down the corridor. My father had scolded me again. He had found me out with Meilin.

Meilin was Father's graced gardener. She was a kind old woman, with beautiful eyes. One, a pale yellow, like the moon in the night sky, the other, a pink as pale as the soft, candy colored birds that flitted around her gardens. She was graced with the ability to coax any plant into growing no matter how unsuitable the area or season, and much faster than they should grow. I remember my 5th winter, when, over the coldest time of that year, Meilin had planted, grown, and harvested fruit from a strawberry bush, all over the course of a week. I had tasted the berries, as sweet as if it had been the middle of summer, sweeter maybe.

We had been out in the gardens near her quarters, and she was teaching me about the various herbs and their medicinal properties. Which herbs could keep wounds from festering, the herbs that would ease fever. The seven kingdoms were not particularly advanced medically, but all Meilin knew she taught me.

Father had seen, and Father hates when I speak with the servants. He always says to me:

"That sort of behavior is _bellow_ the prince of the Middluns, Raffin."

He had stopped on his way back to his quarters and grabbed me by the ear, pulling me along with him. All the way telling me of how disgraceful it was, associating with Meilin.

When we arrived at his quarters, he had slammed the door behind us and looked at me in that terrible, disapproving way he has. He didn't look angry, Father never _looked_ angry when he did this. Or maybe he did. I don't really know, for the most part, I keep my eyes closed. I knew what was coming, I squeezed my eyes shut as the first blow stung across my cheek. Tears slid down my cheeks, but I did not cry out. I refused to cry out.

I had grown accustomed to this. Whenever I did anything that father deemed "disgraceful" he would hit me. Father would accept nothing that he believed to stain my status as prince. He believed he was preparing me to be king. This had begun for me at the age of seven. Now, at the age of sixteen, I've spent nine years learning to block it out.

There were never many blows, today it was four. The range was usually anywhere from three to seven though. Occasionally, he would kick me to the ground and kick me in the stomach instead. I would always pick myself up, wipe the still falling tears from my face, and press the bundle of ice that he offered me to my face to keep the marks from showing. This time was no different.

Afterward, as always, father dismissed me to my chambers. When I exited his rooms, I stopped trying to stem my tears. I ran down the corridor until I stopped, breathless and crying, in my rooms. I paused. Sitting on the table in the middle of my sitting rooms, was a small, flat brown box. Around it was wrapped a dark blue ribbon attached with a small piece of paper.

_Raffin, _

_ I do so apologize that you got into trouble by my fault. Your visits warm this old woman's heart and it hurts me to know that they are at your expense. I've been working on this since your first visit. It took me a bit, and I know it's not very complete, but I hope you'll enjoy it._

_ -Meilin_

Curious, I carefully undid the ribbon and pulled back the flaps of the box. Inside sat the most wonderful gift I had ever received.

In the box sat a large book, the cover a pale green. On the cover, written in Meilin's hand in a shining blue-violet ink,

_Marvelous Medicines:_

_A field guide to the known medicines_

_of the seven kingdoms._

Another note adorned the inside cover of the book.

_Raffin,_

_ I have recorded all that I know of medicine into this book, I know that there are many blank pages, but those, Raffin, are for the discoveries I'm sure that you'll make._

_ -Meilin_

It was beautiful. The book consisted of two-page spreads. The first, holding a dried and pressed sample of an herb or plant, the second filled with all of the knowledge Meilin had of the plant's uses. I opened the book and read the heading of a random page.

_Common Safflower: Native to Nander, Wester, Sunder, and the Middluns _

_ Known uses:_

_Treating Fever_

_Treating Coughs_

_Relief of Chest Pain_

_ …_

My smile must have stretched across my entire face as I read.

_Oh Meilin. Thank you!_

* * *

I must have read for hours, for when I was startled by my sitting room doors bursting open, I registered that the sun now hung low in the sky. How could I not have noticed?

I glanced at the figure sprawled on the sofa to my right. I poked said figure with the corner of Meilin's book, and it growled at me. I laughed.

"Rough day cousin?" I asked jokingly. Katsa lifted her face from the sofa to glare at me. Had I not known her, the glare she wore would've been comical on her thirteen year old face.

"Your father wants me to attend the dinner tonight." she spat at me. The disgust in her voice evident. "that nursery maid, Helda, insists on dressing me." she flopped back down onto the sofa and I had to lean my head down to catch her words. "I so hate wearing dresses Raff..." I laughed again, this earned me the pleasure of having a sofa cushion knock me in the face.

A soft knock came from the still open door frame of my sitting room. There stood Helda, the offending garment in hand.

I laughed again, this time, Katsa shoved me off of the sofa.

* * *

The dinner was standard. Many visiting lords and ladies of the Middluns attended. What was clearly Father showing off his "lady-killer" to intimidate his nobles masked thinly as a routine gathering. I spent the time as I usually do, pushing food around on my plate, not saying anything, afraid of giving father another reason to bring me to his chambers. I touched my cheek and winced, the ice had prevented a bruise from showing, but the pain was there. I didn't look at him once throughout the meal.

* * *

The next morning, I was ecstatic. A steward had come to me early in the morning to inform me that my father would be traveling to the northern borders. A northern lord had been unable to pay his taxes to Randa, and as punishment, Father would be traveling to the lords estate with Katsa. Father had recently taken to using her to punish his lords and other citizens who displeased him. As the practice was new, Father would travel with Katsa to ensure that she could do what he asked of her.

While my heart ached at the thought of Katsa having to do something she so hated, I could not stifle the involuntary flicker of happiness at days, possibly weeks, with respite from my father's abuses. My first thought was to go to Meilin and ask her to teach me to plant my own herbs in pots on my windowsill, a lesson we had been planning on having before I had been punished by Randa, but then I remembered her saying something about visiting family in the city.

I turned to my nightstand to glance at Meilin's book. I had yet to read much of it, and I so desperately wanted to do something. I resolved to take the book to the libraries and spend the day reading.

Randa's Library was quite expansive, it was something he enjoyed showing off to visiting nobles, though less so when he discovered the intimidation that came from instead showing off his niece to the court. The Library spanned two floors, each as large as the great courtyard. The second floor consisted of a large balcony rimming the walls, looking down on the first floor below. The librarian was a good friend of Meilin, and Meilin supplied the library with many beautiful hanging plants.

I sat myself down in the back corner of the library, my usual spot, and opened Meilin's book. As I read, I couldn't help noticing one of the boys who worked in the library staring at me. He was sturdily built, tan-skinned, with a shaggy mop of black hair. He looked to be around my age, maybe seventeen. I hadn't seen him before, and I assumed the stare was a part of the unwanted attention I received as prince. I focused harder on the book, but I could feel the boy staring at me. I flipped to Meilin's table of contents and read off the names of plants to distract myself.

_Açai, Alfalfa, Aloe, Arnica, Barberry, Bilberry, Bitter Leaf, Bitter Orange, Bl-_

"Blue Safflower?" a voice said next to my ear. I fell from my chair in surprise. I felt my head smack against a bookshelf and opened my eyes to find myself staring at the ceiling. The boys face came into view above me. Worry apparent in his pale green eyes. It was the boy who had starred at me earlier.

"Oh! Prince Raffin!" the boy exclaimed. "I'm so sorry. He fumbled, unsure what to do, eventually deciding to offer me his hand. I accepted it, and he pulled me from the ground in one motion. Strong. He brushed nonexistent dust off of my trousers, obviously flustered. He reached attempt to fix my most likely messy hair, and his hands came away red. His eyes grew to the size of saucers.

"Lord Prince! Your bleeding." I turned to look where I had fallen to see the bloody smears where my head had been. "Are you okay? Can you walk?" walking wasn't sounding like a promising plan, as the simple motion of turning my head back to the boy made me dizzy.

The boy must have decided without my answering that I couldn't walk, as in one swift motion, he held me in both of his arms, and proceeded to run out of the library. Too shocked by the last 30 seconds to react, I didn't protest.

* * *

As I sat in the infirmary, now a bit past noon , the healer wrapping clean white bandages around my newly washed yellow hair,the boy from the library stood silently against the wall opposite me. Head downcast in what was most likely part shame, and part embarrassment from what must have been an absurd spectacle to residents of the castle. The librarian's assistant sprinting down the corridors with the prince held awkwardly in his arms.

When the healer was finished, he advised me to try not to fall asleep for a bit. He then instructed the boy to take me to my chambers.

I was well enough to walk now, and I walked quietly with the boy down the various corridors. The boy refused to look at me, always looking at the floor, or the various hangings.

"May I know your name?" I asked the boy, deciding that this walk would be far too long if neither of us spoke. My chambers were on the opposite end of the castle from the infirmary.

"Bann, Lord Prince." he replied stiffly. His attention focused on a hanging of a tree with long spiraling roots.

"You may call me by my name, Bann." I replied. That was a hasty decision. Father would have a fit. I despise when people use my title, but Father always says that the use of my title is proof of my superiority...perhaps that's why I dislike it.

"Raffin." he said cautiously. As if he couldn't believe that my name wasn't "Lord Prince"

* * *

Bann had gotten more comfortable speaking to me as we walked. We were nearer to my chambers now. I asked a question that it had not occurred to me to ask before now.

"Bann." I said. "Why were you staring at me in the library?" Bann blushed three shades of red.

"I apologize Lo-...Raffin." he said. "but...i was very interested in the book that you'd had with you. I'd never seen it in the library before..." he said trailing off, embarrassed.

"It isn't from the libraries." I said. "Meilin, the gardener, wrote it." I looked down at the book in my hands. Despite the head wound, the think I was worried most about was getting blood on the precious item. "You're interested in medicine?"

Bann's face lit up with excitement. "Oh yes!" he exclaimed. Bann went on to talk about various plants that he had knowledge of. We had a lengthy conversation about the fever reducing qualities of mixing powdered safflower seeds with certain ground roots. The conversations went on and on and on. I had never found a person with whom I could share this interest before. I could feel my elation rising with each word spoken, and I could see Bann's excitement in his eyes as he spoke.

The conversations ended up lasting well past our walk to my chambers. I invited him in, with the smallest pause possible in our current debate over alternative uses of peppermint leaves. We spoke the remainder of the afternoon and well into the night. It occurs to me now that we didn't have anything to eat that night, and I don't really care either. I was too absorbed in the conversation. To absorbed in the fact that I felt I could add a new name to that painfully small list of people I could call...

_ Friend_

* * *

_** Sooooooo, I don't know if that was any good. This is my first story and I really don't think it's too great. But I love the Graceling series, and there weren't enough stories about Raffin and Bann. Sooooo review?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Hey sorry it's been a LONG time since I posted the first chapter. The delay was a combination of procrastination and writers' block. Thank you to those lovely people who reviewed to my first chapter. **_

_ Raffin's POV_

In the weeks to come, Bann and I grew more and more comfortable with each other. We continued our late night conversations about known medicines and our own personal theories, but our friendship had evolved beyond that. Now, we had become friends in our every day lives as well. Aside from Katsa and Meilin, Bann had become one of the only constants in my life. He was not like the others, he did not avoid me, or ignore me. He did not distance himself from me because of my title.

I learned about Bann's family. He was seventeen and his mother had died when he was very young. He had no siblings and he had never met his father. Bann had been jumping around his entire life, living any relative that could afford to take him in. Currently he was living with a cousin who lived in the castle.

Bann and I had taken to seeking each other out during the days as well. When I wasn't busy, I would seek him out in Randa's Library. We would spend hours talking together at a table in the back corner of the library. Talking about anything really. The librarian, a warm eyed old woman, didn't mind me borrowing Bann. One day, before Bann had noticed I'd come, she'd pulled me aside.

"I think it's wonderful how you visit him so often Lord Prince." she'd whispered to me. "Since he's come to The Middluns, he hasn't made many friends. I'm sure he's thankful for a friend like you, Lord Prince."

I had turned Scarlet at her words, and muttered something of a thanks for her kind words.

Now I was getting ready to go meet Bann in the Great courtyard. He had asked me to go into town with him today.

"I-it's just that we only spend time together in the libraries...or talking in your rooms...B-but don't misunderstand Raffin, I love that. It's just..." He was turning red as he talked. I hadn't understood why he was acting strange. I'd placed my palm against his forehead.

"Bann, you're awfully red...and warm! Do you feel alright?" I'd asked, genuinely concerned. "Of course I'd go into town with you...but, if you aren't well..." His red face became even warmer under my touch, but he'd beamed at me.

"N-No!" he exclaimed, his grin wide. "I-I'm fine!" I was skeptical, but he'd managed to convince me to put aside his odd behavior.

"...okay...if you're sure" I'd agreed. Then reality hit me like a punch to the gut. Randa didn't know about Bann yet, and there was no way I'd be telling him anytime soon. There is no way in The Middluns that he'd approve of my association with Bann, let alone going into town with him. Such behavior was _disgraceful._ But...Bann looked so happy. I couldn't crush that happiness.

And that was how I'd ended up rooting through my wardrobe, pulling out clothing that I hoped Randa wouldn't recognize me in should he see me. Sneaking out of the castle. I'd never even considered it before. If I was caught, my father would be furious. Maybe this was a bad idea...

_Too late for that, Raffin._ I told myself. I sighed, and kept searching.

* * *

I found Bann in the Great courtyard. I pulled my hood further over my face. I hadn't been able to find any suitable clothing, so I had settled on pulling a red hooded cloak over my normal princely clothing. The cloak was a bit bright, but it'd have to do, a prince didn't own much in the way of inconspicuous clothing. Nonetheless, no castle people had yet to notice me, and Randa didn't take much notice of me. Unless someone else reported me to Randa, he wouldn't notice.

I tapped on Bann's shoulder. He turned and smiled when he saw me.

"Ra-" He began. I clamped my hand over his mouth.

"Hush!" I whispered harshly to him. "We can't let the guards overhear that I'm leaving."

His eyes widened and he tried to speak. I moved my hand.

"Raffin!" he whispered. "I wouldn't have suggested this if I'd know it'd get you in trou-" he was cut off when I grabbed his hand and yanked him forward. He went quiet at my touch.

"Oh shut up, Bann!" I said, irritated now. "I've already worked up the courage to do this and you are _not_ going to convince me to turn around now!" I turned to look at him, my eyebrows raised. "Okay?" Wordlessly, he nodded. I smiled, triumphant, and pulled him onward.

* * *

I breathed a sigh of relief when we were on the trail to town. I smiled to myself. Not one of the palace guards had recognized me under my hood. Not that they cared to check. I was with Bann, a castle worker who came and went often enough. And we'd been leaving the castle, something that was much easier than entering it. Well...we'd cross that bridge when they came to it.

"This is so exciting!" I beamed. The emotional triumph of leaving the castle with Bann had finally reached me. I was in a state of euphoria. "I've never been out of the castle without a host of guards before!" I was jumping up and down with every step, eager to see Randa city without being under constant supervision.

When we entered the plaza around the castle gates, we were greeted by a cheerful girl who looked about Bann's age. She smiled at us and pulled my hood back to place a crown of white flowers on my head. I was panicked and caught my breath, but the oblivious smile on the girls face, and the townspeople's lack of response showed that they did not recognize the face of their prince. I breathed a sigh of relief.

When I turned to Bann, I saw the girl placing a crown of flowers on his head. I felt...what did I feel? Bann said something that made the girl laugh, and when her hand moved down from his head, it lingered on his shoulder. I felt my face heat up. Why was I reacting this way? Whatever this feeling was, I didn't like it. I grabbed Bann's hand.

"Let's go Bann." I mumbled. I grabbed his hand and pulled him down a random road. I had no idea where I was going. I didn't care. I just wanted to be away from the girl and her lingering fingers.

When I could see that we'd left the girl behind, my raging, unexplainable emotions calmed. I sighed and looked to Bann, who thankfully didn't take notice of my odd reaction. A thought occurred to me and I touched the crown of flowers on my head.

"Bann? Why are they giving out these flowers?" I asked. I knew that girls often sold flowers from baskets, some of them even sold them on the castle grounds. But we hadn't been charged for these.

Bann smiled at me, a bit shakily. I realized that I was still gripping his hand. I felt my face heat up. I let his hand drop.

"Sorry." I mumbled. He just smiled at me.

"The flowers are for the spring festival." He explained. I knew of the festival. At the beginning of spring in The Middluns, there was a two-day celebration of nature's rebirth. It was traditional to wear flowers in some way, dress in costume, and for the town's musicians hold performances in the square. The festival was the creation of a...more liberal king than Randa. Randa did not acknowledge the festival, and it was not celebrated in the castle. Although, from what I understood, Randa would allow castle residents to venture into town for the celebrations, even the gracelings.

We came to the town square, and I could see the signs that the townspeople still honored the festival. People in intricate costumes, Market stalls all adorned with bright striped awnings, floral designs painted on the cobblestone path, the pink and green banners that hung from the buildings, and the fountain in the middle of the square that had been painted with swirling designs in bright colors.

I sensed Bann's laughing eyes on me as I gazed at the square in awe. I had never seen the town like this. People were dancing, music came from everywhere, and children ran through the crowd, laughing and playing. I turned to Bann.

"This is amazing!" I exclaimed to him. A thought hit me. This may be one of my only chances to see the town like this. I couldn't waste it. "We need to see everything." I told him urgently. "_Everything_ this festival has to see!" he laughed at my excitement. "Promise!" I said, a warning in my tone.

He looked surprised at my harshness, but the smile didn't leave his face.

"I promise." he said, a slight laugh in his voice.

* * *

"I feel silly..." I grumbled from the inside of the small changing tent that had been set up in the square. Bann's voice came to me from outside.

"Oh c'mon, Raffin." He said encouragingly. "I'm sure you look fantastic."

Bann had insisted that the two of us buy costumes to keep in the spirit of the festival. I had been much less enthusiastic. I bunched my fingers in the now black fabric of my trousers, and stepped out of the tent.

I tried not to meet anyone's eyes. I felt ridiculous. I was dressed in black trousers that hugged my legs a bit too tightly, and a loose cream shirt that turned to bright red from my shoulders to the ends of the sleeves. An equally red sash tied around my waist now held my floral crown in place at my hip. I could feel the heat of the blush that spread across my cheeks.

Bann laughed and tied my red cloak back around my neck with a laugh.

"You look very Festive Raffin." Bann said, still smiling. Bann was wearing an orange hooded cloak with a golden sun design imprinted on the back. That was it. Under the cloak he wore his normal clothing, aside of course, from the bag at his hip that held _my _clothes.

"Bann!" I cried. "Why did I have to put all of this on if you weren't going to get dressed up?"

"Because," Bann said mater-of-factually. "Festive looks good on you." I'm sure my face darkened again. Before I could respond to him, I heard a shrill voice from behind me.

"Bann!" the voice called from somewhere behind me. I turned to see a girl who easily captured the attention of anyone in the square who happened to see her. She was very pale skinned and thin, with loose, jet black hair woven in with multicolored flowers. that fell without a single wave or curl down to the small of her back. She was dressed in deep green skirts embroidered with silver stars and moons. She was striking.

She ran up to us and threw her arms around Bann.

"Bann!" she cried again, pulling away a bit so she could look at his face. "Are you having fun?" Her arms were still around Bann. I felt that odd emotion again. The same unpleasant feeling that I'd had when the girl selling flowers had kept touching him.

The girl turned to me suddenly, eyebrows raised. Then I saw it. On of her eyes was a pale, almost translucent Violet, and the other, a green as deep as the trees. I wondered what her grace was.

"Who's this?" she asked Bann, looking back at him. "A friend of yours?" She let go of Bann and walked over to stand next to me. She was tall, about as tall as Bann. She hunched down a bit so that she was looking into my eyes.

"Alyce, this is Raffin." Bann said. The girl, Alyce, nodded without looking back at him, only seeming to have half heard him. She stood up straight again and smiled at me.

"Ah, Lord Prince!" she exclaimed. "Bann has told me about you."

"Told you about me?" I asked her. "When?"

Alyce laughed, and Bann was starting to look uncomfortable.

"Why, every night of course!" She beamed at me. "He can't stop talking about you! He's just so thrilled to have found a friend here. And a friend who's interested in that boring drawl about plants and such! There aren't many people like that now are there?" she finished with a smile.

"A-Alyce!" Bann cried, his face turning red. "Stop!"

"Awwww, dear cousin. No need for embarrassment, I think it's cute!"

So this girl was Bann's cousin. She was the one who had been letting Bann stay with her in the castle. Instantly I felt that gnawing feeling in my gut subside.

_What is that Feeling?_ I thought to myself, annoyed with my lack of understanding.

"Well I'd best be going!" Alyce said abruptly, stretching her hands over her head. She turned to me. "I love your costume, Lord Prince." she said with a knowing grin. As she turned to go, she bent down low so that her lips were even with my ear.

"That 'Feeling', Lord Prince..." She whispered to me, "Is called Jealousy."

_**So? I finally got chapter two out there. I hope you guys liked it. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner. I promise! Reviews would be awesome!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_** This isn't exactly a chapter, more of an alternate view to strengthen the end of the last chapter. I felt that I rushed a bit with the parts involving Alyce, so what better way to fix that then give you her view of the situation?**_

_Alyce_

I had been wandering around Randa City, perusing the festival stalls, chatting with the townsfolk, and, at one point, spontaneously joining in on one of the musicians' songs, (My grace may not be singing, but I can carry a tune pretty well) when I had spotted a familiar thatch of black hair who's shade matched my own.

"Bann!" I cried, delighted to have spotted my cousin. I'd been worried that he wouldn't have been able to make it to the festival. I ran up to him and embraced my cousin.

"Bann!" I said again, drawing away from him slightly. "Are you having fun?"

_Get away from him! _

My eyebrows shot up and my head snapped in the direction of the new consciousness. I saw a boy, maybe a year younger than Bann. He was fair skinned and small framed. His pale blond hair swept across his face. He was clearly dressed for the festival, though he looked very uncomfortable in his festive attire. I looked to Bann. He knew I was a mind reader, but he hadn't noticed my reaction to his friend. I was still picking up on the boy's thoughts.

_Who is she? Why is she touching Bann?_

"Who's this?" I asked him. "A friend of yours?" I removed myself from Bann and walked over to the boy. I bent my knees so that I was looking into his face. His name came to me.

_Raffin_

Ah, so this was the prince. I should have guessed. The prince was all that Bann could talk about when he came back to our rooms.

"Alyce, this is Raffin." Bann explained from behind me. I nodded, not entirely listening. I already knew his name. My eyes never left the prince's, trying to pick up on some thoughts that would help to explain his odd reaction to my touching Bann. Raffin was clearly distracted. He was looking down, his eyebrows furrowed, and I picked up something interesting...over and over.

_What is this Feeling?! Why do I feel this way?!_

I smiled, and straightened up, hands on my hips.

"Ah, Lord Prince!" I said, beaming at the boy. "Bann has told me about you!"

The prince's face reddened.

"Told you about me?" he stammered. "When?"

I laughed, and I didn't need to be a mind reader to sense Bann's discomfort.

"Why, every night of course!" I chimed, smiling at the small prince. "He can't stop talking about you! He's just so thrilled to have found a friend here. And a friend who's interested in that boring drawl about plants and such! There aren't many people like that now are there?"

"A-Alyce!" Bann shouted from behind me. "Stop!"

His shyness was adorable.

"Awwww, dear cousin." I teased. "No need for embarrassment, I think it's cute!"

At the word "cousin" the prince's mind instantly flooded with relief. Then his brows furrowed, and he looked back to the ground.

_What is that feeling?! _

I could almost hear his frustration. This was too precious. Despite what I knew, I wouldn't interfere. Instead, I would offer a small push in the right direction. I stretched my hands up over my head.

"Well I'd best be going!" I sighed. I turned my gaze back to the prince. "I love your costume, Lord Prince."

As I passed the prince, I bent down low, my lips almost touching his ear.

"That 'feeling', Lord Prince..." I whispered, so as to keep Bann from overhearing. "Is called jealousy."

I laughed at the prince's shocked expression, and walked onward. When I had walked a bit, and could still sense the prince's thoughts focused on me, I turned back to them and cupped my hands around my mouth.

"Good luck with him!" I called to the prince, "My cousin can be a handful! You have your work cut out for you!"

I could feel Bann's wave of shock, annoyance, and embarrassment, wash against my own consciousness. I waved back to them over my shoulder, laughing to myself all the way.

_**I've decided I like Alyce! I may write from her perspective every now and then and I want to know what you think of it. Reviews make my day! Don't be shy!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**OH...MY...GOD...I'm back everyone! my computer was being fixed. I didn't have my other files for this story so it felt weird trying to continue it. I did kinda draft an idea for a new story if you want to check it out. Anyway...yeah...here we go.**_

_**(This is the rewritten version of the chapter. I have made it better. Thank you "our entwined souls" for helping me, and for making my day with a review!)**_

_ Raffin_

Alyce's words were still knocking around inside my skull. How...how had she known of my feelings. Had she read my thoughts? Or had my feelings just been so obvious that everyone but me already understood them? Had Alyce simply made a lucky guess? This was giving me a headache. I was tempted to ask Bann of his cousin's grace, for Alyce's strange empathy raised my suspicions, but I felt this would be too nosy of a question.

"I apologize for my cousin..." Bann said, his face red from Alyce's teasing. "She is a bit...eccentric at times..." Bann wasn't looking me in the eye, and he was rubbing the back of his head, embarrassed. "What did she say to you?"

I could feel my face heat up at the memory of Alyce's words.

"_That 'feeling', Lord Prince, is called jealousy."_

_ Jealousy_

I couldn't tell him that.

"Oh!" I stammered. "N-nothing...she just... explained something to me..."

Bann looked at me hard now. He didn't believe me, but he didn't try to pry.

_Jealousy_

Was that it? Was I jealous? Jealous of what? Bann? The girls that touched him?

I looked at Bann, and was stunned at the fondness I felt when I looked at his face. He was still rubbing the back of his head, ruffling his dark hair and staring at the ground. He had a very appealing face, and I enjoyed being around him. Maybe...maybe I-

No...no! I shook head. These couldn't be my feelings. We're both men.

Bann's worried expression faded and he smiled at me.

"Well...if that was all then...anyway, we still have plenty of time left. We should enjoy ourselves!"

* * *

We spent the rest of the day at the festival. We visited the artisans' stalls, we watched street performances and parades, Bann even attempted to teach me how to dance at one of the musical performances. He didn't seem to mind at all that it involved him wrapping an arm around the waist of another man, but I didn't exactly try to stop him either. He was so excited. I didn't have the heart to tell him that, as the prince, I already had been taught how to dance.

I had to pull my hood over my face as we danced, as I didn't want Bann to see the obvious blush that had crept onto my face. A blush that only deepened when Bann's hand accidentally brushed against my...well...backside, as we were dancing.

As the day went on, my strange feelings towards Bann only grew stronger. Every time a girl came up to flirt with him, every time one of the women at the market stalls made eyes at him, I felt...

_Jealous_

* * *

That night, after the sun had set, Bann and I sat together on the edge of the large fountain in the center of the square. It was getting late, and it had been a busy day. I could feel my eyelids growing heavy.

"Raffin?" I heard Bann ask beside me with a small laugh. "Are you tired?" I realized I had been nodding off a bit, and my head now rested against Bann's shoulder. I sat up, embarrassed.

"N-no." I stammered. But I couldn't suppress my yawn. Truth be told, I was exhausted "Well...maybe a little." I sighed.

"Should you be getting back to the castle? It's late." He said, sounding a bit worried.

I thought about it.

"No." I decided. "I really don't want to, and it's late enough that if I went back now, I'd likely get stopped by a steward and brought to my father. If I don't go back, they'll assume I just spent the day in my rooms. It's not unusual behavior for me, they won't check."

"Well...okay...if you're sure." Bann said. "Would you like to stay at one of the inns tonight?"

We found a nice looking inn nearby, and despite my protests, Bann said he would pay for our room.

"You don't have any money on you." Bann had argued.

"But If I just-"

"Tell them you're the prince? They could never keep that quiet, your father would hear. And they wouldn't be very likely to believe you without proof anyway."

That was how we had ended up in this room. This room...that had only one single-person bed. Bann had limited funds, and he was right. I couldn't tell them I was the prince without my father hearing of it, or without having the inn's staff laugh in my face.

I was changed and sitting on the bed when Bann came back into the room, also changed, and carrying the extra blanket he's gone to get from the innkeeper.

"Well then." He said. "You can take the bed, Raffin." he said with an easy smile. "I went to get this so that I could sleep on the floor."

He walked over to the side of the bed and began spreading the blanket across the wood-plank floor. It didn't look very comfortable...

I reached out and grabbed his wrist. I felt my cheeks warm up. Why do I blush so much when I'm around Bann?

He turned to look at me, surprised. As I spoke I turned my gaze to the floor.

"Uhm..." I muttered. "I-if...if you want...we...we can..." I gulped, embarrassed of what I was suggesting. I looked up at Bann. "We could...share...the bed..." The red that sprang to Bann's face was visible in the lamplight seeping in from outside. I knew that it was a bad idea to suggest it. "N-never mind!" I stammered quickly. "Forget I said anything! I was just-"

"N-no!" Bann blurted. I looked up at him startled. His face was very red now, and his wrist felt warm in my hand.

"No." He said again. He was smiling now. "I-I mean yes... I mean... thank you." He finished, still stammering.

I lied down on the bed and slid over, trying to give him as much room as I could. It was a tight fit. When he'd first gotten into the bed, he'd slid over too far and had to reach an arm around my waist to keep me from falling off of the other side.

"S-sorry." he said quietly.

"It's fine..." my voice was hardly audible. I'm not even sure he heard it.

I let him keep holding on so I wouldn't fall, and we ended up sleeping face to face. Or...face to chest, as Bann was taller than me. Bann's breathing gradually slowed, and he was asleep.

I felt Bann's arm tighten around my waist as he slept, and my heart jumped into my throat. I knew it now. With my own suspicions, and Alyce's explanations, I knew. All of the signs are there, all of the symptoms that I've never known myself, but have heard of. I get nervous when he's near me, and even more so when he touches me. I get jealous when girls touch him, and we have so much in common... I can admit it to myself now. I buried my face in Bann's sleeping chest and wrapped my arms around his waist. I know it now...

I've fallen in love with Bann.

* * *

I woke to the sound of Bann's cheerful laugh. I move my face from his chest so that I could see him.

"Good morning, Raffin." he said we he noticed I was awake. "Did you get lonely in your sleep?" my arms were still around his waist. "That's so...Raffin? Raffin! Have you been crying?" his hand came down and wiped my face with his thumb, it came away wet. I looked at the shirt of his bedclothes, which I now saw were wet where my face had been. I hadn't known I'd been crying. It was then that I realized...that I was still crying. Two warm trails of tears were sliding down my face.

"Raffin! Raffin what's wrong? Please, tell me!" Bann sounded so worried...but, I was still so tired. I didn't know why I was crying, and I didn't have the energy to try to work it out. Without realizing it, I fell back asleep against Bann's chest without answering him.

The next time I woke up, it was later. Mid-afternoon from what I could see out the window. The first thing I noticed was that Bann was no longer in the bed with me.

I sat up in bed just as Bann was coming back into the room.

"Oh!" Bann said, a smile on his face. "You're awake! You must've been exhausted last night. You slept for a while. It's five now." he laughed. "Well...I guess we did go to bed late. I think it was around...six in the morning? The festival never really stops until the end of the second day. No matter how late it is, there's always someone awake doing something. It's no wonder we didn't notice how late it was getting." he came over and sat at the foot of the bed.

"Are you feeling okay?" he asked. "You were crying this morning."

"Oh..." I said, remembering what I'd realized last night. "Yes...I just had a bad dream..."

"Hmmm..." Bann hummed, not sounding entirely sure. "Well okay then." He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of bed and onto my feet. "Well you slept pretty late, but we still have until midnight before the festival ends. The festival ends with the fireworks! They start at ten-thirty and last until the end, so we have a few hours."

* * *

After I had changed back into my festival clothing, we decided to go and meet up with Alyce before she had to return to the castle. As a Graceling, she was still technically Randa's property, and her allotted time had been used up. We talked with Alyce for a bit, walking around the festival, and by the time Alyce had to leave, it was time to go find a spot to watch the fireworks.

Bann was absolutely ecstatic. He ran ahead of me and turned back to call to me.

"Hurry up, Raffin!" he called. "I know I great spot!"

The spot he brought us to was beautiful. We were on a small hill outside of town that was covered in wildflowers, and Bann said that it had a great view of where the fireworks would be. I didn't see anyone else around, and when I asked, Bann told me that it was because there was an area within the town designated for watching the fireworks that most people used, so we would be the only ones here.

The sun had gone down at this point, and Bann and I were lying down in the grass talking, when he nudged me and pointed to the sky.

Just then, the first of the fireworks exploded into a shower of color, closely followed by a second. The first in Pale blues and silvers, the second, in reds pinks and golds. I stared, wide-eyed. I had seen the festival fireworks from my window in the castle, but never so close before. Bann laughed at my reaction.

"Nice huh?" he asked.

"It's amazing!" I exclaimed as more fireworks burst into the sky. "This is beautiful!" I turned to look at Bann, but his smile was gone. "Bann?"

"Will you tell me why you were crying now?" Bann whispered. "I know you were lying when you said it was a bad dream, and Alyce...Alyce thinks something was on your mind today...she told me that she thought you seemed troubled at dinner today." he looked so worried and sad. Clearly my not telling him had hurt him.

My breath caught in my throat. I swallowed hard.

"I-I can't..." I stammered. Bann looked as if I had slapped him. "I...if I told you...you would hate me..." I whispered.

I couldn't tell him. I didn't even know exactly what it was I couldn't tell him. I knew that it had something to do with my newly realized feelings for Bann, that it had something to do with the inevitable trouble that would follow should I chose to pursue these feelings, but I didn't exactly know how my feelings for Bann connected to my tears.

Suddenly Bann was kneeling over me. Knees on either side of my hips and hands on either side of my face.

"Are you Stupid!" He shouted. I was startled, Bann had never been so harsh with me before. "Are you stupid, Raffin? Do you think I could ever hate you? You? My first and only real friend? You? The one who looks passed how inferior in class I am to you? How the hell could I hate you? You, who offers such undeserved friendship towards me? You...you...who...who...who I..."

He closed his eyes tightly and I saw tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

"DAMMIT RAFFIN!" And suddenly...he was kissing me. My eyes widened as his lips pressed against mine. I made a surprised squeak into the kiss, and he pulled away.

"Dammit...Dammit, Raffin...I...I'm sorry...I..." he whispered through his tears. "I..." He trailed off, silent tears still streaming through his tightly shut eyes. I touched my lips with the tips of my fingers, not sure if I was more surprised that he'd kissed me, or that I was upset that he's stopped.

"Bann..." I began. I couldn't just sit there and watch him cry. He'd comforted me when I cried, I could try the same for him. I reached up, a bit hesitant to touch him when he was like this, and wiped away his tears with my thumb. "Bann...it's okay." My words only seemed to make his tears fall faster. I wanted him to know that it was okay, that, in fact, I wanted him to kiss me again. But, I didn't know how to get those words out. I gulped, nervous of what I now knew I was attempting. "Bann..." I started again. I placed my hands on either side of his face, shifting so that I was lying in a way so that my elbows were supporting me, and pulled his face closer to mine. His face was now mere centimeters from mine.

At my actions, Bann's eyes shot open, and his tears began to slow.

"Raffin..." He started, surprise evident on his face. "are...are you certain?"

I was blushing now, my actions catching up with my mind, and I was growing flustered. I tried my hardest to make myself sound determined, but my next words still came out as nervous and wavering.

"I...I am." I managed to get out, my blush deepening to the shade of the darkest rose in Meilin's gardens. Bann looked unsure, and nervous. The smallest blush was creeping onto his face. It was amazing how much you notice of a person's feelings when your face is less than an inch from theirs.

He gulped. His voice was a rough whisper. "Are you certain that you're certain?" He asked again. Bann had regained some composure, and his face was serious. "Your father..." I gulped again at the thought of Randa. He _would_ be furious should he find out. But, I couldn't bring myself to care.

"I am." I said, my voice quiet. Bann nodded.

Neither of us spoke now. When I felt Bann moving away slightly, I closed my eyes tightly and prepared myself for rejection. But, when I felt him moving closer again, ever so slowly, I opened my eyes.

We were so close to one another right now. Bann, so strong and sturdy, lying above my slight frame. His knees on either side of my hips, one hand in the grass beside my face, and the other now softly resting against my cheek.

We didn't say anything else, the gap between us closed very slowly, until his lips met mine for a second time.

This kiss was different. We were both aware of the situation this time, and it was slower and more meaningful than the last kiss. I had never kissed anyone before, but I was almost certain Bann had, so I tried to follow his example. When we pulled away again, faces flushed and breathing heavily, neither of us said a word, we simply moved together for a third time, deepening the kiss. We were both hesitant, unsure of how this would affect our relationship, but at the moment, none of that seemed to matter. There was just Bann and I, two friends coming together, kissing until long after the fireworks had passed.

_**Oh wow you guys! Something romantic actually happened in this chapter! Aren't you excited?! I know I am! Fair warning though...after this chapter, the stories rating will be changed to "M" for the later...escapades of Raffin and Bann. (aren't they cute?!) By the way, Did any of you readers go to Naka-kon this last weekend? I was there! You might have seen me. I was wearing a Silver Wig, black and white striped elbow length gloves, black pants, and a white wolf tail. My shirt changed every day. Any way Naka-kon is an anime convention that takes place here in Kansas...so...don't expect that many (if any) of you saw me there. Anyway...Reviews please?**_


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